![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
almost have all my homework done!!!! then I can read....
so I watched the music video for this song we listen to in spanish... so funny, but kind of good.. ill recite..........
"cada vez que te busco te vas,
y cada vez te llamo no estas,
es por eso que debo decir
que to solo, en mis fotos estas"
super well written chorus... lol...
I found out something thats SUPA CHILL in life.. just to sit down, with a homie, just a good friend, and talk about life...
it makes for such a chill time... =D ^_^
oh no!! I better read my american lit stuff...............................
buenos noches!
lol...
ok, so I totally just read all of my posts,, and I realize how straight up crazy, deceitful to myself and others, and weird I can sometimes be... lol (laughing at the weird part) but I guess we all have our faults and falls, right?
but oh my goodness!!!! Right now I feel sure of 2 things... I love my friends, and I believe in a greater power.. a greater something,... a God. yes, I do... I love my friends who also do, and I love my friends who don't believe in God... They all impact my life in so many good ways, hearing different opinions and such, but I am freaking out a little right now!!!
at times, I am so sure of myself.. I thought fo sho I was going to be a 7th day Adventist... now I am totally unsure!!!! some prophecy in the Bible, and things that have happened in my life, seem totally undeniable to me, and the science of this world seems to prove it to me.. life is so complex.... but its this denominations thing.... SO MANY DIFFERENCES.!!!
Me arguing with my dad, my dad showing me some verses, Dan showing me other verses... Contradictions? there are not supposed to be any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in the Bible that is) but maybe they are not contradicting... maybe the translation, or how I'm reading it is wrong?
oh my goodness I don't know !!!! =\
wow, hopefully anyone who reads these things, (hopefully only myself, which I know is somewhat untrue) knows that I am probably not as "out there" as the writings in this on line journal would suggest.. lol... lol.. lol... lol... lol... lol.. lol... lol...
I'll just keep searching....
I feel like there has got to be "the one thing"... I don't know why, but I feel like I gotta try, ya know? ill read something..... but there must be something.. something I can figure out..... well, I'll try =D !!
I hope all my homies are chillin in there lives!! and we can chill, skate, film, or just hang out soon. fo sho.
I haven't posted for so long. I forgot how good it feels.
There is so much I need to say! So much I am too cowardly to say in real life.
Oh Lordy don't leave me, not all by myself again.. thats where it is worst. alone.
This Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith...
I don't think any one reads this, so I am going to say it straight up. I have been struggling internally, every day, for God knows how long... months for sure, years? every day, every other minute.. I wonder........ Im always thinking about it, I can't even hold a conversation many times... because of it.
It's killing me.. I must know.. I must be sure!!!! There must be that one thing.. everyone has their one thing, where they find it and go, yup, thats it. I swear i've found it so many times.. but ten minutes later, I'm thinking......
I'll just say it, because there is no other way to go about this... God, or no God. Meaning, or no Meaning... because no matter what anybody tells me, I can't see a life without God having meaning.... If I came from nothing, from non-living, to bacteria, on and on to this.. than whatever this is it is essentially nothing. So I can't believe it.. the evidence is there, the reality is there, the history is there!!!! I just let few petty things, trouble my growth. I rented two books from the library today... One trying to disprove Jesus historically and one trying to prove God real scientifically .... I plan to get many more books like this,,, but all the while I will believe in God, and trust Jesus as my savior and light, guiding my way.. because the evidence I have heard thus far is too great for any different...... I don't believe I will ever change my mind, but even the Word says, "seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open to you, " and I completely believe that... I will seek. seek answers to these questions that stammer my faith, so I can doubt no more.
and this faith, (mine less than a mustard seed)..... is it getting in the way?
NO@!! lol.. (but Im not laughing) Im gonna find out... im sure now.. after tonight.. im sure.. I mess up so much.. so much everyday, today, everyday.. I can't count the times I messed up today.. things i've said, responses..... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but new / old friends are very good... lets search together? friends are good.
I think I can find it though.. I got a couple books from the library.... some answers? I think so..
I hope Amber didn't find these ramblings...............................
hahaha.
ill, fly away oh glory, ill, fly away in the morning..............................
wow I love that song, but on a different note.
Life is G ("G" meaning gangsta, chill, fun, good, bueno, loving, and RADiculous)
fo sho not so hyped on school, but ya know, its gotta come... maybe ill finally see some of the homies that i havnt forever....
I hate frogs.. not because I hate them, but I just hate their gross nasty slimy grossness..... Jillian put one on my shoulder at the skatepark the other day (al's wife) and I almost started crying..... worst day (moment) of my life....
right now, I need to clean myself... but first I need to see if I still have friends.................................
why do I write these???????????????
why when I listen to these amazing songs writen by sufjan stevens, do I feel the extreme need to make a short edit to them.
his version of Holy Holy Holy, makes me want to cry.
also acoustic version of Chicago... amazing..
"He came to take us,
all things go, all things go........"
the main rule is to not cut of the head, keep the whole body in the shot, but then again, who cares? rules, in filming? no.
oh good, my battery is done charging... I cant wait for tomorrows filming mission....
"Trouble, Trouble move away,
I have seen your face and its to much for me today...........
Ivvvvvveeeeeeeeee Ive seen your eyes,
and I can see deaths disguise hanging on me.. hanging on me....."
wow, great song.... kind of can be sad, but I see the lyrics being sung by a young man, early 30s....
he has a really grizzley beard, hasnt eaten in days, and looks like the forest...
hes singing it, but nothings changing,.... hes findin out that trouble cant be done away with by a song.. he needs something more.
oh my goodness, lately life has been so fast! lol... my sister is mad, because its so hard to find time to see her... no good!!! im trying to get ready for spanish, keep up with friends, and film / edit a tape of my friend for our sponsor.......ah!!! (but stoked, kind of my first filming job, that I have been asked to complete... sick) lol..
OH YEAH!! I bought a bunch of dye, and a 5 pack of white v-necks... can someone say fun!!!! green v-neck, blue v-neck, pink v-neck.. its going to be so fun!
"you will never have to hear the clever ones, saying your so dumb,
........because your just to laize-faire, behaving like you just dont care"
-peppermint patty, The Owls.
today was so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! St. Croix Skatepark, late sesh, with the homies.... so sick..
and guess what dog, Clint Peterson was there!! supa sick....
Well, I hope I am getting better at filming, and more importantly life.
y dime todo que necesito saber,
quiero oirte ahora..
right now, I am so hyped to be writing!!!!!!
its been a chill Sabbath day.....arguing with my dad, whether or not its actually Sabbath,
chillin at the hispanic Seventh Day Adventist Church, with dan and al....
and chillfully, (keeping in mind that it is Sabbath, so not to get too hyped) went and saw Boondoggle, the premier, at the Oak Street Cinema in Dinky Town.... really chill, really well made, amazing video... mad love to my friend Tim Fulton, one of the main editors and filmers....
but on the brighter note, heres a fun poem (note to self, the following was completely made up on the go....)
Summer is nigh
does nigh mean almost over? or almost here?
or can it mean both? for if nigh is almost over, then something is almost here,
or if nigh means almost here, then something else must be almost finished..
am I correct? or do I speak foolishly?
tell me flower, why am I able to speak?/ tell me in all your beauty, you surely deserve to speak far more than me....
but me, who can hardly use this mouth I have? not even to raise my opinion in time of need? why do I have the right to speak?
or the right of free speach for that matter? Deary, Deary, Querido Amigo!!! please take this right from me if I can not soon learn to use it.. wont you flower? wont you soon?
before you wither, and no longer will you have something, or everything to say? please please please soon soon soon.
Boondoggle, Boondoggle, my life is one grand boondoggle!!! have you looked up the word?
Oh Merriam, or is it Webster? either way just hear them say, its far to true.
but brighter is the sun, than the flower, no?
brighter is it, (or is it He?), than all the flowers ever made? (or He made?)
for can the created be brighter than the creater? claro que no!!!
then it is He I seek, no? maybe He can show my mouth to speak?
where shall I find Him?(or is it where shall He not be found?)
under here, or over there? outside or in? right or left? A la darecha, o ariba???
no se.
but maybe someone does....................................
- Location:the oak street of my mind
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:silence fills the room
what???
ok, so this is whats up with my vida....
Treasure Island Resort and Casino....(sing the song when you read that previous line.. and dont act like you dont know the tune...)
ask alice.... when shes ten feet tall.... or is it st. Paul?
this is it
I do not exist we faithfully insist.... or do I?
am I looking to far up?,,,, and missing things below?
like when the eye of the fish shoots to far past the knees,
things on the ground cant be seen?
whats this noise I hear? we all can hear it?
but look we have no ears!! how do we hear the noise?
its loud and never ending, its untruthfull and suspending.
decieving us with lies,
with telegraphic eyes.....
it knows us all to well,
my lungs begin to swell..... oh no! we can not see either!
what shall we do little lizard?!! quick tell us what to do.. the little horn is all we know,... to it we all bow..
but wait my fellow people... dont you see its number? its not what you think!! quick dont kiss its ring..
it knows not what it does, but those who have closely listened do!!!!
quick, we must be fast!!! dont continue on.. take the hard road! you will know it when you see it..
truth is not something you will miss... its far to hard and far to narrow... you will know it I swear..
but look he offers peace... he will give peace... look look look look....
oh please, oh no am I too late? has my coward self waited too long? yes yes yes yes yes....
oh look quick, lets go, the offer is too good...
oh no.. quick look at his crown!!?? do you see it??!!?? it bears the number!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whoa.. that was intense.... i like I like =D.... I guess thats what was on mind...
but lets continue...
I am living and loving.. life!!!
I am going to visit some schools next week!! yes!!!~!!!!
cant wait to graduate, and start learning hard core in the filming, editing, and graphic world, so I can use this knowledge for good things I love@!!
its going to be swell.............until then, I pray the slight glitches my camera experienced while filming the other day were just a minor and not even close to serious glitch...... =D.....
have happy travels self... hahahahaa...
oh yes.. I should grab a bight before I go to work.. hunger is kicking in.....oh yes! studies tonght.. i cant wait.....
Me myself the deerish type,
I looked around in utter strife........
For a kind familiar face, "ill find one eventually I told myself,,,,"
whats that jumping in the distance?.........................
"are we still friends?" I asked the rabbit looking creature,
replied the creature, " No se,"
and hopped away.
- Location:651 MN
- Music:none at the moment.
oh yes oh yes.... I did say it...
hay que probar.... one must try.
interesting
bold
out there
fun
weird ("i" before "e" except after "c"?... apply here?....... idk)
different
well, I am super hyped, finally got myself to start studying spanish, in a pretty intense, (at least for summer) way..... my goal is to study at least an hour almost everyday until school... so like 3 weeks.
well, filmings been going good, trying to learn about mine and others cameras, as well as getting better at shooting... editing <3.
Learning learning learning... so much of it to do!! the other day I hung out with some friends I havnt seen all summer though ^_^... so hyphy!@!!!!!!! we started Pulp Fiction, and I cant lie, I was freakin out... I guess I shouldnt watch intense movies, or movies in general.. haha..
it was muy chill though, Laurel, Kody and Ryan are all RAD..... hopefully "L" hollas soon, because I want to see Mama Mia really bad, and none of my other friends want too go it seems... o siempre tienen que hacer cosas, y no pueden ir al cine conmigo........ D: ..... pero no hay problemas.....
"mama mia, here I go again, my my! how can I resist ya.. mama mia, does it show again, my my! just how much i missed ya..." "..... and if your near me darling, cant you hear me S.O.S."
oh... Abba
Ive thought multiple times about going alone... just straight up.. me being like, "Ill take one for mama mia,"
the lady would be like, "(haha... cough cough..... ^_^....(all under her breath but I can totally hear her).....) ok sir thank you."
"THANK YOU TOO..... X_o HAVE A NICE DAY." is my response.....
then I would be singing in the theatre, alone.......
(entonces, estaria cantando en el cine, solo.....) note: that was my attempt at the spanish translation.. I think its right....
well, now I am going to write a quick story.... FUN!!!!! since I love stories, and spanish, it will be a spanish story, about a young boy, who loves to film, and chill, and sing, and let good times happen day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day....
P.S.
story coming in next blog.
also P.S.
I am lovin life, and so phyked to learn about the Lord....and follow the hard road, cause its the only one....."we could take the long road, that weve just beguuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,
and when your happy, I feel the sun, through a cloud, the sun."
(remember that show green spider? last day of school, The Owls, drew, Katlin... it was RAD.)
New friend hype!!!
Cartoon hype
Gnarly Hype!!!
3ccd Hype!!!!
Gettin my praise on HYPe!!!!
Prophecy Seminars HYPe!!!!
you know what ricky?
yes ricky?
your the only person who reads this, arent you ricky?
why yes ricky, I am the only one who reads this...
good ricky, good....
lets hang out sometime, and find eachother, ok ricky?
sounds SOOO SICK ricky.. in a good way sick, ya know?
yeah rick, I know,.. you only use sick in a "gross" way .5% of the time.. the rest of the 99.5% is like saying bueno...
ah ricky, you know me too well! but some how you dont know yourself! haha..
oh but I do......... to a point ricky... to a point..
well thats chill ricky, sometimes, you can know who you are to a point.. like the main point sometimes.. other points come in time..
yes yes.. but main points can change, no?
Ah, you bring a good point... but then again, sometimes no.. you sometimes have characteristics, that a certain Maker meant.
and certain beliefs that you will not now change, because of what ya know! =)
ah.. I agree, I agree.... Do you think that we should get a barrel of cheese, some paper and a pair of slippers...
mucho yeses... as long as the slippers are purple, and the cheese is red... then yes....
what color should the paper be?
The truck will tell us friend...... Wer are waiting for the truck to tell us......................................
that sounds crazy.
(hmm... hey ricky, if we are talking to eachother, then when we write a thought, who is thinking?)
(I dont know, but right now, what we are doing, is this considered thinking about thinking?... that would be really weird.)
IDK.. but God Bless this day for you sir, I hope you continue to enjoy life while your living, for Revelation 20 may be sooner than you think.
Ah, yes, yes it may.....
oh, with my glasses on, its easier to see...driving to a local park of skating sounds good.
- Mood:
rejuvenated
well I just got back from Michigan!
it was so beautiful... I was really thankful I was able to see such an amazing place....
so thats the good news....
bad news equals... the scratch on my lens is more visible than I expected... but still not worth sending in yet.... (assuming that if it was worse I had the 200 bones to send it in.. which I dont.. lol....)
i think I will let it get hit a couple more times first... hahaha... but seriously, i will....
I am now going to generate a list of things that all people should do sometime in their life
(readers note: the following is a metaphorical list, but you should actually do it) =)
1. Attend a service at a Hispanic Seventh Day Adventist Church
2. Purchase, and Wear a pair of purple socks.
3. Purchase and wear a pair of moccasins
4. Purchase and wear a bright pink belt
5. Remain calm in a high stress situation and see how good it feels.
6. Put money in the can the man on the corner is holding in downtown Minneapolis, and almost cry when he says, " thank you"
This next list is of things I would like to do before I pass from this earth.
1. visit Barcelona Spain multiple times...
2. Have a mark1 fisheye lens with absolutely no blemishes for at least a month
3. spend a week in the forest.
4. Make ammends with all the people I have lost touch with.
5. Become strong beyond what I ever have been in my faith.
6. Have not only one, but multiple pairs of purple socks...
7. Live with my mom for a week.
8. Purchase moccasins from some one who made them by hand....
9. Excersise more... Since I started doing more filming and less skating, I feel ive let myself go a little.. lol..
todays Snipet.
".......... He said they let me out of prison, out in Frisco... for ten long years I paid for what I done,
I was tryin to get back to Louisiana,
To see my Rose, and get to know my son......"
- Music:johnny cash
good.
today = bueno already.
yesterday, = great call from unexpected traveler. (I thought she was in indonesia, brazil, russia, or maybe all of them)
fisheye, should arrive soon.
until then, some study..... the bible, the spanish language, life, relaxin.
also yesterday = a beautiful day in downtown minneapolis... the city of lights!?!@ (it does have many lights)
you could say that we were skating by the light of the moon.
a snipet, as I have become accustomed to writing in this journal.
"I slipped on my shoes, and I made myself look some what right,
because I cant be at home tonight, and I have no clue as to what I am doing here
let me lie in your bed, for a day..... cause its a long way still til tomorrow..
all my insacurities are breaking me up inside... light another cigarette, my eyes are on fire.
lightning, strikes me all in waves. and I know that Im safe for now, but I know the rest
is on its way!, ....."
-Sera Cahoone
"Only as the Day is Long"
- Mood: calm
ah... what should I say to myself? what will I think when I look back at this in a year? 2 years? 20 years?
well... this is my favorite beverage ever.... I believe that chocolate milk soothes the body and mind...
ode to chocolate milk
Oh say I do see! chocalate milk how art thee?
how so tastefull and sweet! how so perfect in richness?
where art thou when I call? canst thou hear my cry?
no thou can not! our Father, whos art is that of heaven and earth,
who gives taste, who gives sight or makes them blind, I thank Thou!
I wait not till the morning, but drink thou at night, at mid day, and at dusk.
softer than velvet and richer than burgundy.
hahaha... that was fun.well this past weekend was swell!
I went to church with my good friend, and it was very uplifting... Daniel had to translate for me durring the entire service, because the service was fully in spanish.. =)
it was such an experience.....and very humbling.
and after the service, there was this amazing banquet of Mexican food....... ^-o-^ !!!!
it was my first time taking it easy, and trying to do a lot of reading on the Sabath, and I hope I can it a usual. Dan, Al, and I bascially sat and chilled all day, just talking and such... it was very bueno....
well, I feel like I have been missing some other people lately....
maybe I can un-miss them soon. =)
"Brother Sister,
Ill see you when we get there, Gods great mercy be forever with you,
courage, courage until we get there,
we are here for just a little while"
no, not the pottery that grows.... the steez that grows! =)
journals are kinda steezy................................so I guess ill right
one.....................................
So the giant object below, (century optics Mark1 .3x ultra fisheye lens) is something I have been dreaming about for a while...
I am so hyped because I have finally been able to get the money needed.... MCdonalds FO LIFE!... hahaha.. kidding... silence... cough cough.... death...kidding once more...
(but I guess the whole Death reference kind of works because this lens is nicknamed..........THE DEATH LENS!!!!! (whoa... that was intense) this is because it has such a wide angle of capture, that you need to be extremely close to the person or object you are filming, running a high risk of death ( obscure amounts of damage) to your camera and the lens.... I have made three attempts to purchase it on a monthly payment kind of plan, and they all failed!!!! so I have been saving up to pay in full...
I have been a wee distraught at how long it has taken to save up, but I believe that this has been a lesson in my life, or possibely lessons....
First, That I fo sho need to gain some patience
and More Importantly, that some things are more important than some fisheye lens, and that should be the last thing on my mind.
I believe I need to study the words long written down, in the book of Mattew, chapter 6 verse 33.
but weird.. that was a long rant about nothing!
buenos noches! Me gusta la lluvia caer! I really need to study spanish... so worried for next year........
well... glad days will approach.. I hope.
Journals are fun...
I am tired....
Reading equals good... I just need to do it more...
"we could go by daytime, we could go underground.
we could go by night time, if theres any light... any light... coming down....
and when your laughing, I see the sun, on the moon... the sun........
Ill calll you when, I find my way on,
sing while I go then Ill know your around........................."
- Music:none.... for now.
but life is really chill right now. I think I like where my choices are leading me, and I can feel changes happening in my actions, and how I feel.. I hope this continues! =) well, I guess I would give an example of one of my passions, Filming!!!!
this was a beautiful day, at the Scandia, MN skatepark! (much love to the Twin Cities) with 2 of my best friends, (only a couple of my bests were missing) Dan, and Al!!! it was very chill and nice out, so I knew the music had to match the feeling..... please take a look if you wish! and speak your mind on it... and the vibe you got from it, even if your not that into skating....
hmm.... speaking of skating, I guess there is something kind of on my mind, that I would like to express! some people view skating as a "Bad kid thing," or in their minds combine skating with drugs and kids wasting their lives away.... These are common misconceptions! =) though some do give it that bad name... which i can understand that conception, because skating can be a quote un-quote, Rebbelious sport, haha....you know, cruising the cities, (prefferably Minneapolis) getting told to leave, gettin chased by the U of M bike security, getting 100 dolla tickets or even getting 20 hours of probation! all this for skating,
Scandia Park Sesh!!!! from Ricky Ogez on Vimeo.
well, I hope you enjoyed this!
Blessed be your day! and have a chill time! no matter what your art is... cause we all got one.
- Mood: calm
- Music:none at the moment
I hope yall is chillin, and 100 dolla billin.... my life right now... KIdding!
life can be hectic I guess... this morning, I was up at four, getting ready to go to mcdonalds, tommorrow, I will be
waking up at six... GNAR! haha..
I feel like I have so much learning to do.... the list is as follows.
Rickys list of Things To Learn
1. how to manage my time.
2. To learn as much about my faith and others as I can, as quick as I can
3. Learn as much as I can about video cameras, and editing before college.
4. Learn how to be peaceful and thankful in all situations.
5. Learn how to express my feelings, and let them be the right ones
6. How to live a productive LIFE!!!!!!! AH@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im so exhausted just looking at this list, but I know it must be done. I just moved, so that was kinda crazy, but chill... I only have to live at one house now.
But this SUCKED! So I have like mad worry issues, ya know? Bascially about everything, like, whats up with my spiritual life, my friends, my camera, my family.......... And the other day, I totally almost dropped my cam.... AGAIN!!! I was sooo worried but praise the lord it seems chill,,,,,,,,,,
There seems to be some tension between two of my most loved people, so I am a little concerned with that, but I think they are both strong where they stand, and understanding enough to work things out, and not let it hinder their friendship, because they were like the Best, and coolest of friends!!!! Im feeling the hype from both of their lives ova here!!!!! maybe Ill get all steez bandit and rob a bit of both of their styles...... haha... then I would be like, ultra Human!!! Diverse, and know where I stand in life, not ashamed to admit, all this while having some sort of perfect style:
natural/mexican/african american/swedish(thats me)/ folk/chill/tight/gangsta/loving/kind/fun
Hmm.... I will leave this with the thought though, that I am currently lovin Life, and hyped on my new thirst for knowledge.....
I will also leave you with one of my favorite snipets from one of my favorite songs... thanks for the read!
"I drove to New York
in a van, with my friend
we slept in parking lots
I don't mind, I don't mind
I was in love with the place
in my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind "
---chicago by sufjan stevens
- Mood:determined
- Music:silence is chill,,, maybe at times golden
